A New Start
by liten-sam
Summary: sequel to Time to let go


_A New Start_ ****

**_Disclaimer_**: the characters used in this story (with the exception of Cathy) are property of Belisarius Production.

**0000 ZULU (1900 EST)**

**Harm's apartment**

**Georgetown**

"Rabb," he answered the phone.

"Harm, what the heck where you thinking?! On the news they said that two JAG officers had risked their lives to save the Russian president from a kamikaze!" said the woman on the other side of the line.

"Hi Cathy, I'm fine thanks and how are you doing?" replied Harm teasingly.

"Very funny Harm. You could at least have given me a call to tell me that you had come back all in one piece".

"Why? Where you going to miss me?"

"No, not really," she answered a little bit more relaxed by now. "Although you are the only lawyer I know that makes it a habit of crashing planes and disarming bombs," she teased back. "And frankly I'm quite surprised they'd let you into Russia again," she added referring to Harm's last trip to Russia. He and Mac had "borrowed" a Russian tomcat and crashed it into a lake in the middle of nowhere.

"Ha ha, very funny Cathy".

"Anyway, what were you doing in Russia?" asked Cathy.

"That's a long story...," replied Harm.

Just then Harm's girlfriend Renée arrived. "I bought pizza on my way home...," she stopped when she realised he was on the phone. "Sorry," she whispered.

"Hey Harm, am I interrupting something?" asked Cathy.

"Renée just arrived," replied Harm.

"Listen, I'm coming down to Washington on Friday to see my editor. What do you think of a dinner so you can tell me all about your Russian trip?"

"Ok, just give me a call when you're in town. See you on Friday then," he said.

"Try to keep yourself out of trouble flyboy....Have a nice evening," she replied and cut the line.

Renée was setting the table when Harm hang up. "Who was it?" she asked as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Cathy. She's coming to Washington next week," he replied.

"So you're going to out together…to talk about the good old times?" she asked not exactly enthusiast about Harm's friend popping by.

"Well, yes…I mean, we don't see each other very often and we always have a lot to talk about," he replied. "Why don't we all have dinner together?"

"No thanks, I'd feel like the third wheel and…," she went before Harm could say anything," I'll be in Philadelphia the whole week for that ad shooting and you know how important it is: if the producers like my work they might offer me a job in their company."

He perfectly knew how important it was for her; they'd be talking about it, actually no…discussing about it for weeks now.

"In Philadelphia, of course," he replied grimly.

"We are not going to fight over it again?" she asked.

"No, you're right," he answered taking a slice of pizza.

They didn't talk much that evening and Renée didn't stay for the night. The next day she flew to Philadelphia.

**2330 ZULU (1830 EST)**

**JAG Headquarters**

**Falls Church, Virginia**

"That's all I can offer Harm."

"I don't think my client will be very pleased," he replied following Lt. Col. Sarah Mackenzie to her office.

"Well, he should have thought about the consequences before stealing military property and crashing it into a tree," she replied as he gave her a resigned look. "I'll get back to you after talking to my client".

"Hey, isn't that Cathy?" asked Mac pointing to the entrance of the bullpen. Cathy was talking with Lt. Lauren Singer. "You'd better hurry up and save her form Singer," she added before she answered the phone that had started ringing.

Harm walked over to Cathy. "Oh, here he comes," said Cathy relieved to see her friend coming to her rescue.

"Commander, " said Singer turning around to see Harm walking over to greet Cathy.

"Thank you for taking care of Ms. Parker lieutenant," he said.

"It was my pleasure. Ms. Parker, Commander," she replied and left the two.

"Let's go to my office," he said leading the way. "I only need to jot down a couple of things before they skip my mind."

"We have plenty of time. I've reserved the table for 8 o'clock," she replied.

**0130 ZULU (2030 EST)**

**Marcello's Restaurant**

**Georgetown**

They had stopped by at Harm's place so that he could change into civvies and they were now sitting at a nice side table at Marcello's, a little cosy Italian restaurant in Georgetown. The waiter had taken their orders and they were now sipping some good red wine.

"Grandma said you should give her a call, she wants to know what her favourite grandson of hers is doing," she said smiling.

"Did you see her?" he asked.

"I was in La Jolla two weeks ago. She's doing pretty good, always keeping herself busy and everything. And how is Renée doing?" she asked while the waiter arrived with their lasagne.

"She's fine, always busy working..."

"The perfect match for you...although, she probably thought that with your job you wouldn't risk your life that often," she replied.

"You bet, she was not very pleased when I left for Russia, again."

"Well I can't blame her. Anyway what happened over there?" she asked eager to know what seemed to trouble her friend.

He told her all about how he had been assigned to go to Russia to help them improving the justice system and had ended up investigating a crooked Russian General who supposedly was selling weapons on the side. Then, with the help of Mac and two russian officers, they had managed to catch the man who wanted to assassin president Putin with a delivery van laden with explosive. Along the way he had found out that he had a brother, Sergiei, the son of Harm Sr. and the woman that had taken him long time before.

"Did you tell any of this to Trish?" she asked.

"No, and I don't want her to know. Mom has a new family and it would be useless to stir up things now," he answered playing with the food in his plate.

"How are you coming to terms with it?" she asked concerned.

"I don't know. I was happy to have found some kind of closure about my dad last time I went to Russia…" he started. Last time he learned that after his father had been deported from Vietnam to Russia, he had managed to escape. He had settled down with a woman he had met and died trying to save her when a group of rebels attacked them.

"...and now you are disappointed that he had started a new family," she continued for him.

"That someone else had with him the childhood I never had, yeah…" he replied, somewhat relieved to have said that out loud. "But then... my dad probably thought he would never be coming back and see us again, so I really can't be angry at him."

"Did you ask Sergiei to come to the States?" asked Cathy.

"Yes. Webb even had first class tickets for us. But he decided to stay and fight in Chechnya," he replied sadly.

"Like your father and you would have done," she added. "There's no doubt: he's a Rabb".

**0430 ZULU (2330 EST)**

**In front of Cathy's Hotel**

"Thank you for the ride Harm, and for the nice dinner, " said Cathy as she stepped out of Harm's car.

"Thank you for listening to my rambling," he replied.

"Anytime flyboy," she answered. "By the way, when did you buy an SUV? Planning to enlarge the family?" she said smiling at him, to which he flashed her a dirty look.

"How long are you going to stay in Chicago?" he said walking her to the front door of the hotel.

"Two weeks. But if things go the way I want I might be back in Washington for good," she answered, "I hope you won't mind..."

"And you tell me this only now?" he replied.

"It's not 100 sure yet, so...I'll let you know how it goes, don't worry."

"I count on it. It was good to see you again," he said and hugged her on the steps of the hotel.

"You too. Make sure you behave until I'm back, ok? I know who to ask if you don't..." she replied smiling and let him wondering who she might be referring to.

**1530 ZULU (1030 EST)**

**Skylight Editions**

**Falls Church, Virginia**

**Two weeks later**

"Are you sure it's a good idea Cathy?" asked the man standing up from his chair and stopping in front of the window of the meeting room.

"Mike, you know how long I've waited for this opportunity," replied Cathy, "and anyway I'm not letting you down: I'll still be writing, you know I love to write for kids... but I need to do this."

"Well, I guess the only thing I can do is to wish you good luck," replied the man walking to Cathy and stretching his hand out.

"Thanks," said Cathy shaking his hand.

**2330 ZULU (1830 EST)**

**JAG Headquarters**

**Falls Church, Virginia**

"I want that report on my desk by Friday morning," said the Admiral walking out of the bullpen.

"You will, Sir," replied Harm following him to the elevator.

"The SecNav is going to have your head Commander if he doesn't get that document on time," said the Admiral just before the elevator's doors closed.

"Yes, Sir," replied Harm grimly.

"Problems Commander?" asked Harriet seeing the look on Harm's face.

"The SecNav wants my head," replied Harm.

"With all due respect sir, it's not the first time," said Harriet making him smile. "By the way, I need your advice on something."

"My advice?" he asked as he held the door to the bullpen open for Harriet.

"I wanted to get something for Cathy's apartment..." she started.

"Cathy's apartment?" asked Harm puzzled.

"Yes sir, the one she's going to move in, in Georgetown…" replied Harriet before she realised that Harm might actually not know about Cathy settling down in Washington yet. "Mmm...I'm sorry, I thought you knew about it."

"I'm going to have a long talk with Cathy," replied Harm heading towards his office.

"Maybe you should get the SecNav off your back first Sir," offered Harriet but he was already in his office. Oh my... I have to get in touch with Cathy to warn her she thought and walked to her desk.

**0125 ZULU (2025 EST)**

**Harm's apartment**

**Georgetown**

Harm had worked until late at his office to finish the report for the SecNav. He was fixing himself something to eat while listening to an oldies radio station; Renée was not home.

"Now it's your turn Cathy," he said dialling her cell phone number.

"Parker," she answered.

"Hey, Miss-I'll-tell-you-as-soon-as-I-know-something, is there anything you want to tell me?" he replied.

"I can explain," she said.

"Why don't you come over so we can talk?" he said making it sound more like an order.

"Ok, see you later," she replied and hung up. "You're in trouble girl," she said to herself as she walked to her car.

**Later that evening**

**Harm's apartment**

**Georgetown**

Harm was cleaning the table when the doorbell rang. He opened the door and found Cathy waving a white handkerchief.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked amused.

"I thought you wouldn't shoot someone with a white… flag?" she replied making him smile.

"Come on in," he said stepping aside to let her in.

"I hope I didn't ruin your evening with Renée?" asked Cathy.

"No, she's not even in town," replied Harm flatly. Both Renée and Harm's job took up a lot of their time and Harm felt it was slowly drawing them apart. And the worst was that he didn't even mind that much, and he had reasons to suppose Renée did not either. "But you're changing the subject here," he went on walking to the kitchen to get two sodas.

"So you're moving to Georgetown and you're not telling me anything," he said joining her on the couch. He wasn't going to make it any easier.

"I swear I was going to call you," she told him. "I had just signed the contract for the apartment when I met Harriet. I had to tell her. I didn't think she would ask your advice for a present," she said teasingly.

"Ok, I'm going to pretend you didn't think all of this up after Harriet called you to warn you," he replied flashing her a dirty look. "When am I going to see this apartment of yours?" he asked.

"Are you free on Saturday?" she asked.

**1330 ZULU (0930 EST)**

**Georgetown**

Cathy had picked up Harm that morning and she was now parking in front of a nice apartment building, at about ten minutes from Harm's place.

"I hope it's not too close for you?" she asked as they entered the building.

"I can live with it," he replied following her into the elevator. Cathy's apartment was on the fourth floor, right under the roof.

While Cathy was looking for the keys, Harm noticed that Cathy's was the only apartment on that floor. "No noisy, neighbours eh?" he said just as she opened the door.

"Welcome to my humble apartment" she said showing him the way in.

"Wow, this is great," he said.

"You just need to imagine it without all of these boxes on the floor and with a little more furniture," she replied shoving a couple of boxes aside so that she could give Harm a small tour of the apartment.

"The woman that owns this place has moved to Maine and decided to rent it to me," she told him.

"You've been pretty lucky, you know. It's not easy to find a nice flat this time around. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," replied Cathy.

"Why did you need to move to Washington?" he asked. "I mean…I'm happy that you are here…" he added.

"Are you in for a walk?" she asked smiling at him.

Ten minutes later they stopped in front of a small book shop. Harm looked to Cathy for some clues: he was definitely missing something. She took a key out of her jeans' pocket and let themselves in.

"You know that nice lady who left me the beautiful apartment, she owns this shop and when I was doing my promo tour last year she told me she would have to give it up because she was going to move to Maine. Then one month ago she called me and asked me if I'd be interested in running the shop for her, she would even give me her apartment. I just couldn't resist. So I called my editor and I told him I wouldn't be writing full-time anymore."

"I guess he wasn't thrilled about it," he replied.

"No, not exactly. But in the end he accepted."

"So I'm not the only one who wants to follow their parents' footsteps," said Harm who had suddenly remembered that Cathy's mom had ran a little book shop like that one when they were kids. She used to have fairy-tales afternoons, where she would have readings of the children's favourite stories.

"So what do you think of my new career?" she asked.

"It's great and your mom would be proud of you," he answered giving her a big bear hug.

They stayed at the shop a while longer and afterwards Harm volunteered to help Cathy out with the furniture at her place. They stopped only for a quick lunch, and by the end of the day all the furniture was at its place and Harm sat down exhausted on the sofa, still surrounded by boxes.

"Thank you Harm," said Cathy handing him a bottle of water.

"Anytime…, well you're not planning to move within the next three months, are you?" he replied grinning at her. Before she could snap back at him, Harm's cell-phone started ringing.

"Rabb," he answered. "…Hi Renée…what…but wait a sec…can't we talk about it?…You have already taken your decision, I don't know what you want me to tell you,…Good luck then," he said and flipped his cell phone closed.

"Is everything ok?" asked Cathy concerned.

"I don't know…Renée said she needs some time to think about us. And she's going to accept a job offer in Philadelphia," he replied flatly.

"I'm sorry," she said. Is that all you could come up with? she thought. But she really didn't know what she should say, Harm's reaction had surprised her. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offered.

"Not really …," he said and could not hold back a yawn.

"I think you need some rest Harm," she said. "You've worked hard today, you must be exhausted, we should call it a night. What if tomorrow we have lunch together?"

"Here?" asked Harm suspicious.

"Sure, I think I can find the forks and glasses by tomorrow," she replied flashing him a dirty look. He picked up his jacket and kissed her goodnight. "I'll find my way out. Good night."

"Good night."

**1700 ZULU (1200 EST)**

**Cathy's apartment**

**Georgetown**

When Harm entered Cathy's apartment the next day he was pretty surprised.

"What?" asked Cathy seeing him blocked, leaning to the doorframe.

"How did you do this?" he asked. The boxes had disappeared, there were books on the shelves, TV and hi-fi were at their place, together with Cathy's collection of tapes and cd's. There were even fresh flowers on the table.

"I'm an early starter you know. Though I didn't have time to put the curtains up yet," she replied coolly as Harm stepped inside. "I hope you're hungry, I've made a ton of cannelloni. You still like them, don't you?"

"Didn't get to eat them very often lately, but I love them." Just as they were going to sit down Harm's cell phone rang. "Rabb," he answered while Cathy rolled her eyes at him. "Admiral,…I didn't expect you to call me on a Sunday, Sir…oh my God…I'll be over in 30 minutes," he said and stayed there with the cell-phone in his hands.

"Harm, what's wrong?" asked Cathy seeing the worried expression on her friend's face.

"Harriet…she lost the baby…," he replied with watering eyes.

The only thing Cathy could do was to be strong and held him tight in her arms. She could not believe that the feelings she had thought to be buried long time ago would resurface that quickly.

**2245 ZULU (1745 EST)**

**Robert's Apartment**

**Rosslyn, Virginia**

Harriet had been in hospital two weeks now. It was time for her to go back home, to that empty room. She and Bud had already prepared everything: the little bed with pink linings, plenty of toys, the photo album... But baby Sarah would not come home.

While she was putting away some of baby Sarah's clothes the doorbell rang. She walked to the door to open it and found Cathy. "Harm told me you might need someone to talk to," said the woman standing outside. Harriet stepped aside and let her in. The night before Harriet had showed up at Harm's place in tears because she couldn't talk with Bud about the baby.

When Cathy stepped inside she noticed several boxes on the living-room floor.

"I've just made some tea. Do you want some?" asked Harriet walking to the kitchen. "Yes, thanks," replied Cathy following her and sitting down at the table.

"What did the Commander...I mean, Harm tell you?"

"Only that you were at his place last night and he felt he hadn't helped you enough."

"He listened to me and I could cry on his shoulder," replied Harriet handing Cathy a cup of tea and sitting down in front of her, "which is more than what my husband is doing lately," she added with a slightly angry tone.

"How are you living all this?"

"It would help if Bud was more...I don't know...less focused on making the doctor pay for his mistakes and more on us, on coming to terms with...," replied Harriet, tears starting to run down her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" she managed to say in between sobs.

"You don't have to apologise Harriet," said Cathy handing her a tissue. "I know how it feels... you think you've lost everything worth living for and you keep asking yourself what you did to deserve that...," said Cathy concerned.

"That's exactly how I feel…How do you know?" asked Harriet.

Cathy closed her eyes for a moment as she seemed to be gathering up the courage to tell Harriet something.

"You have to promise you won't tell anyone about this, not even Harm," she started to which Harriet nodded in response. "When...when I was 18 I had a miscarriage." Once she'd said that it looked like a stone had fell from her heart. "I know it's not exactly the same, because I didn't...I wasn't planning on having a baby. It scared the hell out of me just to think about having to face my family and my friends. Anyway, I didn't know what to do and probably someone up there thought that it wasn't really a good idea to make me a mother: in the second month of pregnancy there were some complications and they couldn't save the baby," said Cathy, eyes fixed on her hands.

It took Harriet some time to process what she had just heard. "Would you have kept the baby?" asked Harriet.

"I've asked myself the same question over and over...and I still don't know the answer. They say you don't know how much you love someone until you loose them...I know that when I lost the baby I felt an immense sadness for not being able to have that little creature in my life," she answered with watering eyes.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" asked Harriet putting some of baby Sarah's clothes in a box on the table.

"You always have an empty space in your heart... but you have Bud, little AJ and your friends there to help you get through it," replied Cathy, "and if you ever feel you need to talk with someone about how you feel, you know where to find me. Just don't keep it inside or it's going to eat you up from within. I only had Harm's grandma to talk with, but it helped me a lot."

"How come you never told Harm?" asked Harriet surprised. There was a long pause before Cathy spoke again.

"When he called home from his pilot training I steered the conversation away from me and I couldn't just tell him 'Hey, you know what? I'm going to have a baby.'.

"He didn't notice?"

"He was at sea for a long time and stepping in his father's footsteps kept him pretty busy," she replied sadly. "Sure, he noticed I had something on my mind but I always told him that I was a bit worried about my studies, which was partly true, and that he should keep his mind on what he was doing or I would have had to worry about him too. I asked his grandma not to tell him and she kept her promise even if she didn't understand why I wouldn't want him to know."

"What about the father of the baby? Did you tell him?" asked Harriet.

There was another long pause. "He doesn't know. He left before I found out I was pregnant and when he came back it was all over," replied Cathy leaving Harriet wonder what she intended by it was all over: her pregnancy or their relationship.

"Are you still in touch with him?" asked Harriet, but before Cathy could reply Bud walked in.

"Hi darling," he said and kissed his wife. "Hi Cathy, I didn't know you were coming to visit. Are you staying for dinner?" asked Bud. He was visibly tired.

"No, I was just leaving," she lied, "I just popped by to see if you needed anything," she said and headed for the door.

"Thank you for the talk," said Harriet.

"Good night," replied Cathy and left.

The week that followed was pretty hard for the Roberts. Although the doctor had been negligent with Harriet's delivery, his attorney scored an important point when he made Harriet admit that it wasn't her first miscarriage and that if the doctor had known about it he could have saved the baby. The doctor got away with an admonishment, Harriet and Bud could finally find some closure about baby Sarah, together.

**0030 ZULU (1930 EST)**

**Harm's apartment**

**Georgetown**

"I still can't believe Harriet hadn't told Bud anything about her first miscarriage," said Harm taking the veggi-lasagna out of the oven. He had invited Cathy over for dinner, like many times after Renée had left.

"She probably had her reasons," replied Cathy who was sitting at the table.

"Yeah, but I thought that she and Bud of all people had no secrets with one another," he replied taking their plates to the table.

"There's no such thing Harm," said Cathy while she filled their glasses with wine.

"What about us?" replied Harm surprised.

"Us? You're kidding right?" she said, but Harm seemed serious. "Maybe now, but our past record is a whole different thing. I didn't tell you about my problems with Jack and I don't think you ever told me about you being made prisoners by the Chinese."

"How do you know about the Chinese?" asked Harm startled. He hadn't told her anything about it back then, for a lot of reasons…most of which he couldn't even remember anymore.

"Meg told me some time ago," answered Cathy referring to Harm's former partner, Lt. j.g. Meg Austin. "Harm, people keep things to themselves for many different reasons: to protect the people they care for, because they feel ashamed for something or because it might not be the best time to talk about it…"

"You're not telling me everything," replied Harm. Ever since Harriet's miscarriage and after he had asked her to talk with Harriet, she had been…different.

Cathy felt trapped now. She had to tell her best friend that she'd been lying to him for many years about something so important. But it was time, no more secrets. And she did tell him everything: how she had felt about the baby, the miscarriage…and lying to him.

By the time she had finished Harm was at loss of words; he didn't event think about asking her who the father of the baby was. Cathy had lied to him for so long. He felt betrayed…but at the same time he could understand her not telling him back then: at that time all he had on his mind was flying and nothing was more important.

He had been silent for a while and Cathy had become increasingly worried: did she just destroy their friendship? "Harm say something, please?" she said.

"What about we start all over again?" he replied looking at Cathy. "No more secrets. Whenever you need to talk about anything, no matter how busy I might be…come to me."

"Only if you do the same" she replied somewhat relieved by Harm's words.

"Deal?" said Harm stretching his hand out.

"Deal," replied Cathy taking his hand. "I suppose now might be a good moment to tell you that I was the one who broke your mom's lamp…" she started to say, but was interrupted by Harm. "You what? She gave me house arrest for two weeks!" exclaimed Harm flashing her a dirty look. "Is there anything else you would like to confess?" he asked.

"No, not really…but I might come up with something, the evening is long…," she replied grinning at him.

****


End file.
